So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
