I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
