I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
