You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
