Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
