How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
