in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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