I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
