this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
