They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
