well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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