how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
