walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
