I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How naked do you want me to be?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
