If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
