So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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