I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
