1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm too high and old for this...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
