sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize