If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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