Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
