that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
