The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
