dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
