A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
