I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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