All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
