Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
