my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
