don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
