We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
