Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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