I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
