I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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