Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
