Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
