Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
