I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
