I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
