the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
