so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize