This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
