I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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