I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
