I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
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