He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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