Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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