the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
