and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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