I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
