We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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